Sunday, October 18

Bullying (??) in First Grade

I hesitated to write this post because I am not sure if this was bullying. If it was not, I believe it was on it's way to bullying. Princess A loves school and not too long ago she was so excited because a 'club' was being formed at recess. A little girl started a club at recess and asked Princess A to be in the club with a few other little girls. The little girl was originally in Princess A's first grade class but was moved into the new first grade class when the district authorized an additional first grade due to over crowding. Princess A was excited about the club but something about it made me pay close attention. At first everything went well but after a while I could tell Princess A was not as excited. I continually asked her about the club and what they did as a club. Eventually Princess A told me that the leader of the club was in charge and the rest of them had to do what she wanted all of the time.

I talked to her about playing fair and that everyone needs to take turns. After our talk she went to school the next day and things did not go well. As usual the little girl told them what to play. Princess A wanted to play something else and told the girl so. The little girl then told Princess A she was 'out of the club' and got upset. Princess A felt bad that she had upset the girl and tried to make it better. Princess A and the rest of the girls in the club spent the rest of recess taking turns to try and apologize to the little girl. She just kept running away until recess was over. Princess A came home and told me all about it. I was glad Princess A was out of the club and hoped that it was over. School was out for a few days and I spent that time casually talking about being a good friend and making decisions for yourself.

When school started again the little girl went on as if nothing had changed. Princess A said she did not understand why the little girl did not remember but that the club was back on. At this point my husband and I told her no clubs at school! Princess A was all ready to tell the girl that she could not be in the club but that she still wanted to be friends. Princess A was the one who wanted to still be friends though I did encourage her to think about how true friends should act. I also emailed her teacher and asked for help with the situation. Princess A's teacher is no longer the other little girl's teacher but she was able to talk to her at lunch. After school Princess A told me her teacher talked to the little girl and told her no more club at school. Princess A never had her talk with the little girl and the funny thing is she gave Princess A an invitation to her birthday party. Princess A's teacher called me after school to tell me that she talked to the little girl, who did not admit to everything, and that the school would keep and eye on the situation. Princess A does not really play with that little girl much during recess but I am going to continue to keep a close eye on her interaction with this little girl. We did not go to the birthday party.

Was it bullying? I hesitate to use the word but in many ways it was. One person telling everyone else what to do and when they don't want to they are manipulated emotional into doing it. That to me is a form of bullying. I can not believe that we are dealing with already in first grade! It has been a few days and everything seems to being going well I just hope it continues to be so.


  1. Sorry you have had to deal with this king of thing already. I've got 2 boys and 1 girl-all teens now. The boys had to deal with the physically type of bullying and for the most part it started around 3 grade or so...if they rode the school bus, they got doses of it even earlier from the older kids.
    The girls play mind games and it's all about emotional/psychological manipulation and yes, it does start early like this! Go rent the movie Mean Girls to see what kind of stuff goes on nowadays. But even tho the movie is about high school girls(and it's not very bad), it starts in elementary school. It's all about cliques and I think what the girls go through is far worse than what the boys go through, having dealt with both. I don't mean to scare you though...
    As long as you keep talking to your kids about making the right choices and they feel they can share what goes on with you, you'll all be ok. Hopefully your school sees this as a REAL problem and won't just brush you off when you complain.
    It's so sad how fast the kids have to grow up once they get to school....makes you want to homeschool them & it's prolly why alot of parents do homeschool.
    Good luck!! ;-)

  2. I couldn't wait to read your post. I do believe your daughter was being bullied. Yes, it starts in elementary school and girls are just as capable as boys. Girls just use a different tactic as slugmam stated.

    Glad to hear that you stayed on top of things. It's important as parents that we pay attention and report these incidents when they surface. Thanks for commenting on my post,

    Have A Merry Christmas and A Blessed New Year. I love your blog.

  3. I'm running into the same thing with my 1st grader. I have a son and he's being bullied by a girl classmate who has now formed a club of her own. This club is with other girls in the class and they have chosen to listen to the leader girl who say to not talk to my son b/c he's an idiot and annoying. I have no idea what to do. It pains me a ton to hear this. The girls are picking on him and now name-calling. I just learned about this and I will be contacting his school about this.


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